Ascending Together: The Purpose of Family
Our dream life is dependent on the quality of our relationships. Our most intimate relationships are those we share with our families. When we understand the role of the family in our life, we accelerate our personal & collective opportunities for reaching our greatest potential.
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“Our family is the focus of our greatest work and joy in this life.”
As a kid who often teased my siblings to no end, & as a parent who watches my toddlers jump into throwing hands at any small conflict, it can make you question the purpose of the family. At times, it feels like isolating everyone would offer the best outcome. And yet, I have far more evidence that the family plays an intensive role in shaping our lives & helping us to reach our greatest potential.
So let’s discuss this. Here’s how you can recognize the role of the family in personal & collective ascension.
Families Are Divinely Designed
In 1995 (the year my parents were married) the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints released a document of doctrine on the family. It was titled “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”. This document details the roles of fathers & mothers, the need for intention in the home & the significant role of the family as the “fundamental unit of society”. This document affirms divinity in all roles of family members, especially those of mother & father — with the caveat of necessary adjustments for traditional roles at given times (like those of myself through a military deployment).
All good teams are made up of clearly defined roles. These roles allow us to focus on our personal responsibilities & natural (or developed) gifts. We may think that unique roles & perspectives challenge our ability to grow, but rather they make it possible. To take on a specific role provides great relief. This relief comes from focusing on our personal responsibilities, without needing to dictate or worry too much about the roles of others. Certainly we will check & balance & support each other, but primarily, we will see great joy in fulfilling our specific roles because we were divinely designed for them. This divine design provides the greatest joy because it accelerates our abilities to work together in greater unity, while appreciating the need for each individual part.
Marriage Enforces Growth
One of the great myths about finding a soul mate, or discovering your true love is that you will be in perfect congruence through everything. Ironically, I’ve found that the adage of “opposites attract” seems far more common & purposeful. When we can recognize that friction in marriage doesn’t mean that we chose the wrong life partner, we realize that friction is what causes us to burn even brighter than we did before. As we continually conquer hurdles together, we find deeper personal & collective strength. We discover an appreciation for the differences between each other more than we can allow ourselves to be annoyed with what “they aren’t getting”. We recognize that we’re different on purpose. I giggled the other day at a video that made mention that our husbands aren’t supposed to be another one of our girlfriends. While it seems obvious & almost silly, there is deep truth to be found in the sentiment. Thank goodness our true best friend is the person who doesn’t just affirm us in everything we say & do. Rather they help us to maintain in our mind the vision of our personal potential. We learn to appreciate that we become more whole together as we amplify our personal divine roles & responsibilities (which requires continuous, consistent work together). It’s the great adventure we choose as we unite with a partner for life, knowing that “completing each other” won’t be possible at the altar, but will be our potential together through a lifetime.
Parenthood Molds As We Model
Intentional parents bring presence, patience & modeling to each interaction with our kids. These are not simple asks. Many nights when stillness is finally inevitable I find myself drowning in the guilt of bringing anything but these things to the table that day. And yet, that shame gets me no where until I allow it to be my source of awareness & grounds for making my 1% improvements each day to become the parent I want to show up as. Like marriage, parenthood is a responsibility that requires growth from us if we want to love our kids the way they have the right to be loved. As we model the behaviors we hope to see in our kids, or recognize behaviors we hope to see, we are challenged to maintain a personal standard.
I think back to my childhood observations. My parents led our family with great integrity & purpose. I watched my mom study scripture many mornings, and take us alongside her to drop off the small gift she had in mind for a neighbor. I watched my dad spend his limited free time & energy helping the many people who knew about his (what feels like) truly unlimited skills. This orientation to service made a massive impact on myself & my siblings. Our instincts are different because their efforts were obvious. It’s fun to see as each generation builds upon the last, how what once required great effort & some level of imposter syndrome, often becomes a natural identifier of the next generation. This is the power of legacy through modeled behavior!
Relationships Flourish in Mindful Homes
Understanding this deep purpose in family relationships, our homes aren’t merely a place of survival. They can — with intentional design — create an environment where relationships truly flourish. When purpose & not just pretty is considered in design, we see support for each of our assigned roles. This support allows us to enjoy our roles more, continue to develop our personal gifts & talents we bring to the table, & invite a space of regular connection & creation.
We recognize that our homes become a conduit for living our dream life, because our dream lives are really based upon the quality of our relationships, especially those within our family.
There Is Joy In Posterity
At each event where my mom’s family has been gathered, her dad (my grandpa) takes the opportunity to share with his 100+ (& growing) descendants that “there is joy in posterity!”. His enthusiasm for the statement hasn’t faltered even in his ever slowing ninety year old body. As I write this I’m expecting my third baby, and I see myself shouting the same as my grandpa in 60 years from now, “there is joy in posterity!”. While there are conflicts, struggle, & frustration through the process, the great overarching emotions are joy & purpose. These feelings trump all the rest as I continue to embrace my personal role in the family, & learn to deeper appreciate the roles of my family members as time continues to roll on.
Where to Start:
Learning to love your role requires you to pursue personal development & whole health. It is the reason I decided to create the Foundation First course. I wanted mothers & prospective mothers to love their role at a deeper more profound level. I wanted them to love it because the work guided them towards their personal desires & biggest dreams. I wanted them to see that their individuality & “own way of doing things” was exactly what their homes needed, with just enough structure provided to make everything they hoped for possible. Join me in Foundation First to find greater “joy in your posterity!”, in your roles, & in your home.
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